I’m back, because I wanted to let you know that this piece made me finally realize something. I engaged with my Trumper friend repeatedly and steadily prior to the election and then again prior to the inauguration. When I asked him, “what about project 2025? How can you vote for that?” He replied, in a somewhat quiet voice, rather meekly, “he said he wouldn’t do project 2025.”
Looking back, I recognize what was happening: HE KNEW. He knew that Trump knew exactly what P2025 was, and that he would implement it. But in denying that he would do it, Trump was giving all of his voters plausible deniability that could fall back on. He was providing the mask they needed. Quite the psy-ops, just like J6. I finally see it for what it is. A mask and a lie.
Or - on the first part - the woman just stops cooking after a while since none of the three able bodied men in the house (2 step sons, one hubbie) clean up or put anything away ever. And I now treat the kitchen as a toxic zone I don't touch. I will dash in, prep food for myself, clean up, and let the boys deal with their food and their mess. I admit, no more family meal times (although I will sit with them when they've fixed something for themselves) but there is some relief to not alternately begging and screaming, and probably some relief to them not to have to listen to me. And they are learning what it takes to get meals if they want to survive the retirement of mom.
Is this the only pain point in that relationship? I read things like this and all it says to me is those people have no respect for you if this is what it has come to. But I also recognize that I have ADHD and cooking and clean up is difficult for me to motivate myself to do (so many steps), so I shouldn’t assume.
No there's always multiple factors and each relationship is different. It's when the other person disregards your feelings for their own selfish reasons, i.e. they determine an argument is easier than just doing their part is when you start to have problems that can't be resolved.
I have been struggling post election, with all these people who want to point at the Trump voters who are now crying their crocodile tears that they didn't understand that he was worse than Biden, that eggs were too expensive, and all the Never Trumpers who were all "Dems should have stuck to kitchen table economic issues" that was all 100% unadulterated bullshit.
The farmers & ranchers are already crying. It's gagworthy to watch them cosplay “rugged & good-hearted man of the soil” as they gaze teary-eyed at reporters while whining about losing their farm cuz Trump isn't keeping “his promises” WHICH THEY BELIEVED. Yeah. No. Eat dirt, motherfuckers.
Reminds me of the fact that when Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her books, her daughter Rose edited them. Rose Wilder Lane was a libertarian who deleted any references to the federal subsidy and assistance money Pa Ingalls got over the years, as he moved around trying to make it as a farmer.
It seems to me that some folks have been verbally or in writing regretting their vote. Doesn’t mean that they won’t continue to vote for politicians who do NOT represent their best interests.
I live in deep red maga and you’re 100% right. Of course it’s already coming home to bite them in a real way here and I just ask them -“did you not vote for this?” They are fine with pain coming for OTHERS but seem completely bewildered when it’s THEM!
We have asked some MAGAt that question. Their response is outrage that we can’t tell them who to vote for! Unbelievable. I totally agree that they do know what they voted for and will take us all down with their selfish greed.
Thank you. This is a great piece. I’ve had similar feelings for a while—people knew exactly what they were voting for. How could they not? Trump has been in our faces for the past decade. He’s not some mystery figure; he’s been loud and clear about who he is.
Cutting to the chase: the reality is that a woman of color was simply a bridge too far for many. They’ll never say it out loud, but we know the truth.
Yes, I sincerely believe that you are right. Trump won each time he ran against a woman. It didn't matter that each of the women could run rings around him in terms of intelligence, government experience, knowledge of the world and the USA, dedication, et cetera. He won because he was male. What a price the USA and the world have and will pay simply because of sexism!
A lot of these people have a very skewed view of reality because they only watch Fox News and other right wing outlets. But the thing is, they *choose* to do that. And they *choose* to pretend that everything else is "fake news". When I provide someone with information and they tell me without even reading it that it's from a biased left wing rag, there's nothing left to do but direct a slew of insults at them--all of which are *true*. They *are* hypocritical dishonest deplorable racist bigoted scum, and I will not stand to be gaslighted by them.
Fabulous post ! I too have never once suggested that the slimy trump voters should be given any sympathy whatsoever- it is clear who they are- and basically there is no fixing stupid. And fortunately everyone in my circle agrees. It’s almost the same with the people supporting the Palestinians who didn’t vote or voted for trump instead of Harris. They are sitting in some shit now. Oh well, people make bad decisions - with zero critical thinking - which the Republicans have made sure that many people will never be able to critically think about anything.
Which is exactly why they’re persecuting academia now.
I work at a research university that gets tons of NIH grants. In fact, if this NIH funding cut that was announced Friday isn’t rescinded, I’m looking at losing my job or taking a big pay cut. A colleague on a call today said, well, maybe if we get rid of the DEI stuff, they’ll restore our funding. To which I replied: no. It’s not really about DEI. We could remove that, and they’d still decimate us because they don’t like what we do, fundamentally: we educate people to think critically. They don’t want educated people who can question what they do.
My friend’s wife is going through the same thing in academia. She works in online learning for rural colleges in the state of Virginia. They’re about to be gutted.
For heaven’s sake, “we” want to take every single thing away from rural America. Healthcare, education, subsidies, you name it. The Repugnants have been working on this for years, then going home and complaining to constituents that “those other guys” are the ones gumming up the works.
They come for the intellectuals first. My grandfather was in the Russian Book of Names, fled Latvia 🇱🇻 with his immediate family. You are sadly 100 percent correct. I’ve called all my representatives often I’m in Maine so we do have Collins who I’ve even been calling about every abuse of power. She is a Republican but still I call.
My dad passed away Thursday and he was a pathologist who figured out most thyroid cancers don’t need targeted radiation and or thyrodectomies ( sp) back in the 60s after doing 10 autopsies a night while working in Japan 🇯🇵 on an off shoot army / atomic bomb commission. It caused quite a stir but he was right. Research is invaluable as Indiana is experiencing severe probable bird flu epidemic with ICUs and ventilated patients.
One more thing I’m sorry this is long
The CDC isn’t allowing this to get out. If there is a cdc anymore.
Definitely excellent post and much appreciated! Love that operations perspective and rings super true! Book that influenced me hugely was How the Mind Works by Stephen Pinker and it is half evolutionary biology. If we are living in a tribe hunting mammoth on the tundra, tribe benefits when we teamwork and hunt. But I can benefit even more personally if I call in sick, all y’all hunt and get injured and I eat anyway. This made me realize that lying and cheating is built into the human machine and we can expect humans to constantly evaluate which side of the team they want to be on.
It’s interesting in our current situation that Team B, the skaters, only eat because Team A continues to hunt and create value. It Team B is impeding, sabotaging and destroying the value creating work of team A then nobody will eat.
People are actively looking for non-maga businesses to address their everyday needs, like handyman repairs, dry cleaning, plowing, etc., and find it to be an awkward conversation starter. They shouldn't, because it's a logical extension of the reframing: do you really want to volunteer your after-(tariff-and-)tax dollars to someone who actively supports a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, open racist, immoral, etc. etc. traitor to the U.S. Constitution? By paying them to make your lawn pretty, you're directly funding maga lies against our country and your own personal self-interest.
Being a STEM person , I never got round to reading Adam Smith (but laterly learnt he was deliberately taken out of context by the neo liberals) anyway where does he say that.
Man, this is spot on. It sure hit home in a personal way too. Yeah, I’ve done it ( not voted for Trump!! ) but acted dumb. Good insight, made me think.
Yes. I think we should still be banging away on everyone we know asking them "where is your damn line?!" because as this damage comes home some of them might actually change or act. But I've stopped buying that they could still be ignorant, especially now.
Well said. I used to believe that people were "basically good." I don't anymore. I'd have to ignore a staggering pile of evidence to still believe it. I tried to talk to my Trump-voting sister (before the election). I tried to be respectful. I asked questions. Tried to have a conversation. My mistake. She wasn't going to budge. I should have come out of the gate assumptively, talking about Trump supporters in the 3rd person--about how bigoted and stupid they were--as if she couldn't possibly be that ignorant and cruel, so it wasn't a direct attack, but an indirect one. Guilt by association. Maybe nothing was going to shift her. But the words would have stuck. And they'd have been true.
I’m back, because I wanted to let you know that this piece made me finally realize something. I engaged with my Trumper friend repeatedly and steadily prior to the election and then again prior to the inauguration. When I asked him, “what about project 2025? How can you vote for that?” He replied, in a somewhat quiet voice, rather meekly, “he said he wouldn’t do project 2025.”
Looking back, I recognize what was happening: HE KNEW. He knew that Trump knew exactly what P2025 was, and that he would implement it. But in denying that he would do it, Trump was giving all of his voters plausible deniability that could fall back on. He was providing the mask they needed. Quite the psy-ops, just like J6. I finally see it for what it is. A mask and a lie.
Yup. You’ve got it. It allows them to vote for him in spite of all the horribleness Trump is. They can play stupid.
But they know.
Or - on the first part - the woman just stops cooking after a while since none of the three able bodied men in the house (2 step sons, one hubbie) clean up or put anything away ever. And I now treat the kitchen as a toxic zone I don't touch. I will dash in, prep food for myself, clean up, and let the boys deal with their food and their mess. I admit, no more family meal times (although I will sit with them when they've fixed something for themselves) but there is some relief to not alternately begging and screaming, and probably some relief to them not to have to listen to me. And they are learning what it takes to get meals if they want to survive the retirement of mom.
There you go. 😁 Setting boundaries and expectations. Nicely done.
You go girl!💙💙💙💙💙
Is this the only pain point in that relationship? I read things like this and all it says to me is those people have no respect for you if this is what it has come to. But I also recognize that I have ADHD and cooking and clean up is difficult for me to motivate myself to do (so many steps), so I shouldn’t assume.
No there's always multiple factors and each relationship is different. It's when the other person disregards your feelings for their own selfish reasons, i.e. they determine an argument is easier than just doing their part is when you start to have problems that can't be resolved.
Just an epic post.
I have been struggling post election, with all these people who want to point at the Trump voters who are now crying their crocodile tears that they didn't understand that he was worse than Biden, that eggs were too expensive, and all the Never Trumpers who were all "Dems should have stuck to kitchen table economic issues" that was all 100% unadulterated bullshit.
Your setup nails it perfectly.
Nearly every Trump voter is happy he’s keeping his promises. I doubt any regret their votes.
They will. Wait until they cut benefits, healthcare, or welfare for farmers.
The farmers & ranchers are already crying. It's gagworthy to watch them cosplay “rugged & good-hearted man of the soil” as they gaze teary-eyed at reporters while whining about losing their farm cuz Trump isn't keeping “his promises” WHICH THEY BELIEVED. Yeah. No. Eat dirt, motherfuckers.
Reminds me of the fact that when Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her books, her daughter Rose edited them. Rose Wilder Lane was a libertarian who deleted any references to the federal subsidy and assistance money Pa Ingalls got over the years, as he moved around trying to make it as a farmer.
Nietzsche’s sister did the same thing to him. She added in all the Anti-Semitism that the Nazis co-opted later with the Over Man stuff.
It seems to me that some folks have been verbally or in writing regretting their vote. Doesn’t mean that they won’t continue to vote for politicians who do NOT represent their best interests.
The ones that just got fired are regretting it--but only for themselves.
I live in deep red maga and you’re 100% right. Of course it’s already coming home to bite them in a real way here and I just ask them -“did you not vote for this?” They are fine with pain coming for OTHERS but seem completely bewildered when it’s THEM!
And here's the thing--they'd vote for him again even at the moment they're getting screwed.
We have asked some MAGAt that question. Their response is outrage that we can’t tell them who to vote for! Unbelievable. I totally agree that they do know what they voted for and will take us all down with their selfish greed.
Each time a person lies to themselves they lose a little bit of self esteem. To compensate they look for someone they can look down on.
This! Totally agree.
…i seriously doubt that, give them a year and they will hate liberals even more for being right
Thank you. This is a great piece. I’ve had similar feelings for a while—people knew exactly what they were voting for. How could they not? Trump has been in our faces for the past decade. He’s not some mystery figure; he’s been loud and clear about who he is.
Cutting to the chase: the reality is that a woman of color was simply a bridge too far for many. They’ll never say it out loud, but we know the truth.
You might stay with "woman," just.
Yes, I sincerely believe that you are right. Trump won each time he ran against a woman. It didn't matter that each of the women could run rings around him in terms of intelligence, government experience, knowledge of the world and the USA, dedication, et cetera. He won because he was male. What a price the USA and the world have and will pay simply because of sexism!
A lot of these people have a very skewed view of reality because they only watch Fox News and other right wing outlets. But the thing is, they *choose* to do that. And they *choose* to pretend that everything else is "fake news". When I provide someone with information and they tell me without even reading it that it's from a biased left wing rag, there's nothing left to do but direct a slew of insults at them--all of which are *true*. They *are* hypocritical dishonest deplorable racist bigoted scum, and I will not stand to be gaslighted by them.
Well written essay. Thank you. Hope you submit it for publication to as many news feeds as you can.
Fabulous post ! I too have never once suggested that the slimy trump voters should be given any sympathy whatsoever- it is clear who they are- and basically there is no fixing stupid. And fortunately everyone in my circle agrees. It’s almost the same with the people supporting the Palestinians who didn’t vote or voted for trump instead of Harris. They are sitting in some shit now. Oh well, people make bad decisions - with zero critical thinking - which the Republicans have made sure that many people will never be able to critically think about anything.
Which is exactly why they’re persecuting academia now.
I work at a research university that gets tons of NIH grants. In fact, if this NIH funding cut that was announced Friday isn’t rescinded, I’m looking at losing my job or taking a big pay cut. A colleague on a call today said, well, maybe if we get rid of the DEI stuff, they’ll restore our funding. To which I replied: no. It’s not really about DEI. We could remove that, and they’d still decimate us because they don’t like what we do, fundamentally: we educate people to think critically. They don’t want educated people who can question what they do.
My friend’s wife is going through the same thing in academia. She works in online learning for rural colleges in the state of Virginia. They’re about to be gutted.
For heaven’s sake, “we” want to take every single thing away from rural America. Healthcare, education, subsidies, you name it. The Repugnants have been working on this for years, then going home and complaining to constituents that “those other guys” are the ones gumming up the works.
They come for the intellectuals first. My grandfather was in the Russian Book of Names, fled Latvia 🇱🇻 with his immediate family. You are sadly 100 percent correct. I’ve called all my representatives often I’m in Maine so we do have Collins who I’ve even been calling about every abuse of power. She is a Republican but still I call.
My dad passed away Thursday and he was a pathologist who figured out most thyroid cancers don’t need targeted radiation and or thyrodectomies ( sp) back in the 60s after doing 10 autopsies a night while working in Japan 🇯🇵 on an off shoot army / atomic bomb commission. It caused quite a stir but he was right. Research is invaluable as Indiana is experiencing severe probable bird flu epidemic with ICUs and ventilated patients.
One more thing I’m sorry this is long
The CDC isn’t allowing this to get out. If there is a cdc anymore.
But beyond that, it's utterly immoral to "get rid of the DEI stuff" ... that "stuff" is women, people of color, LGBT+, and any information about them.
Definitely excellent post and much appreciated! Love that operations perspective and rings super true! Book that influenced me hugely was How the Mind Works by Stephen Pinker and it is half evolutionary biology. If we are living in a tribe hunting mammoth on the tundra, tribe benefits when we teamwork and hunt. But I can benefit even more personally if I call in sick, all y’all hunt and get injured and I eat anyway. This made me realize that lying and cheating is built into the human machine and we can expect humans to constantly evaluate which side of the team they want to be on.
Never read that one. I’ll check it out! Thanks. 🙏 😁
It’s interesting in our current situation that Team B, the skaters, only eat because Team A continues to hunt and create value. It Team B is impeding, sabotaging and destroying the value creating work of team A then nobody will eat.
Yup. That’s what’s happening.
Adam Smith said that the unencumbered market, unregulated capitalism, devours everything around it and then devours itself.
We’re seeing that happen. Unless we regulate it.
Or answer with our pocketbooks.
People are actively looking for non-maga businesses to address their everyday needs, like handyman repairs, dry cleaning, plowing, etc., and find it to be an awkward conversation starter. They shouldn't, because it's a logical extension of the reframing: do you really want to volunteer your after-(tariff-and-)tax dollars to someone who actively supports a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, open racist, immoral, etc. etc. traitor to the U.S. Constitution? By paying them to make your lawn pretty, you're directly funding maga lies against our country and your own personal self-interest.
Being a STEM person , I never got round to reading Adam Smith (but laterly learnt he was deliberately taken out of context by the neo liberals) anyway where does he say that.
It might be better to read https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/261113.Adam_Smith_s_Mistake
Man, this is spot on. It sure hit home in a personal way too. Yeah, I’ve done it ( not voted for Trump!! ) but acted dumb. Good insight, made me think.
Yes. I think we should still be banging away on everyone we know asking them "where is your damn line?!" because as this damage comes home some of them might actually change or act. But I've stopped buying that they could still be ignorant, especially now.
Well said. I used to believe that people were "basically good." I don't anymore. I'd have to ignore a staggering pile of evidence to still believe it. I tried to talk to my Trump-voting sister (before the election). I tried to be respectful. I asked questions. Tried to have a conversation. My mistake. She wasn't going to budge. I should have come out of the gate assumptively, talking about Trump supporters in the 3rd person--about how bigoted and stupid they were--as if she couldn't possibly be that ignorant and cruel, so it wasn't a direct attack, but an indirect one. Guilt by association. Maybe nothing was going to shift her. But the words would have stuck. And they'd have been true.
Thank you for expressing what I have been thinking about the people that supported MAGA. Cruelty is the point
Did…Did that broad paint herself orange to look like Trump?
LOL she did! They wear diapers at his rallies and have cups of fake semen to make fun of Tim Walz whose wife conceived by IVF.
They are fucking weird. Cult behavior.